I've realized lately that I am a builder of walls. I am a runner. I like things moving fast, I dont like to rest, I like the thrill of wondering if I'll be able to keep up, and ultimately, I love the high that comes with finishing a race.
Sometimes work is my drug of choice. It's an odd thing to say, but there are times I take great comfort in my work. A sentence will always be in need of punctuation, a book will always need to be read again before being published, a magazine is always in the works. I have grown so comfortable with my job and what I do here, that it seems fixed; it seems safe. It's so easy to stay in the confines of my office walls, get lost in a blog, to think of every January as Springtime (because we work so far ahead) and getting used to thinking it's Christmas in July. I've worked so hard at keeping myself safe, sheltered, and structured that I'm not used to seeking or needing comfort from those outside of my bubble.
It's instances when I get holiday greeting cards from someone like Nerissa (www.creativerantsfromnerissa.blogspot.com) that I remember that the world is big, and as far as Im concerned, vastly undiscovered. Nerissa sent me these photographs/calendars from Kuwait.
Or when I receive the lovely surprise of a greeting from THE Marisa Lynch (www.newdressaday.com) who will be featured in the February issue of ALT. Marisa and I have only just begun working together, but the kindness she has shown me and Altered Couture, make all the hard work of producing a magazine worth while.
And when my friends Paulette (www.summerlandcottagestudio.blogspot.com) and Julie (www.julienuttingdesigns.blogspot.com) came to visit me on Friday, I remembered to slow down, sit with them, relax, and take in a meal. And it actually felt good to let people in, to share, to say some of the things I'm used to just thinking. Julie gifted me with this delicious mug (cherries!) and while she and Paulette were here, two more friends arrived: my preview issues of apronology and Altered Couture.
It was so exciting to hold apronology in my hands and to share that moment with these women. That's when it struck me, that this is the thing I'm running towards, this feeling, this sense of accomplishment. How easy it is to get so excited over something, then to set it down and start on the next thing. But it really did me some good to cherish the moment, to touch every page, to breathe a sigh of relief and say "this is what I hoped it would be." Magazine makers have the strange job of predicting the future. They write about trends to come and capture great moments on film and in words that will speak to audiences and hold their interests for months of shelf life. And while things rarely turn out as we plan, while there is always a risk, there's also always the chance that you will win the race; but it all comes down to who's waiting for you at the finish line.
Thank you Nerissa, Marisa, Paulette, and Julie for your words and your friendship. A special thanks to Monica (www.the-white-bench.blogspot.com) for inspiring this post. I'm so glad I can share with all of you.