T.S. Eliot writes of measuring out life in "coffee spoons", which would be quite appropriate for me, I suppose. But then this stack of magazines came in yesterday. I couldnt believe this tower of books; pages upon pages of art I've handled, words I've edited, each page read by myself at least five times. I realized my life can be measured out by stacks of books. I have a huge collection at my home and in my father's home, and every month it seems like I am contributing to making more and more of these stacks with my writing, my name inside of them. These are the things I will leave behind.
The stack of magazines will be going with me to CHA this weekend. Hope I see you there : )
The stack of books above are gifts I received for Christmas. I think a book is always a beautiful gift, like flowers. These gifts prove that the people who gave them to me know me so well. I want to thank one of my best friends in the world, Michelle, for giving me The Gospel According to Coco Chanel (which I have been eyeing for a long time). And I want to thank Hector for giving me the collected poems of Pablo Neruda and Frederico Garcia Lorca.
Sometimes I worry about what I will leave behind in this world - a pile of dust, a full closet, drawers of jewelry. I have been measuring myself against men like Eliot, Neruda, and Lorca who leave behind volumes and literary prizes. I have been measuring myself against women like Chanel, who left behind a legacy and a fashion house. But I'm slowly beginning to realize that it does no good to measure oneself against others.
I read some of Neruda's work the other night for the first time since college. I don't know why, but I felt like I needed a poem. I hope that someday my words are read by the person who needs to hear them most; that the stacks of books and magazines I leave behind don't collect dust, but instead can be gifted to someone so that they might mean something. I hope that when all is said and done that I am of good measure.
Hope your weekend is full of good reading.