More

I'm so very thankful for all that has happened in my charmed 30 years of life. If there's one thing many of the women I know have taught me, it's that it's OK to always want more. I don't mean that in an insatiable, greedy way; I mean wanting more from life. 

I admire people who have a vision and work really hard to make it a reality. But what seldom gets talked about is what happens after you achieve a goal; what happens when things get too real. For me that can sometimes mean being caught up in a routine or getting too comfortable. Routines and comfortability aren't bad on their own, but for someone like me they can be. I rely on the unknown to push me further. 

Sometimes wanting more comes with guilt. It's easy to feel guilty when you're already so blessed, but you can't help but wonder what's next. Achieving the vision you have for your life might call for changing things up; for letting go; for making a sacrifice. I have had to be very honest with myself lately about what I am willing to give up to take the next step, because I am not someone who will always be happy standing in the same spot, watching the world go by. 

My desire for more was fueled recently after meeting Rachel Zoe at a Business Chicks event. Meeting one of my heroes and hearing her story firsthand reminded me that ambition pays off, and  I was in a room full of other women who felt the same way.  One such woman whose creativity and quest for more that has always kept me going is my friend Virginia. Not only is she a mom and an artist, but she is a true boss lady. We met seven years ago working at a magazine where we always dreamed of more, and now we've both come so far. 

Today we toured the offices of Orange Coast Magazine together and I couldn't help but remember us as a newly minted graphic designer and assistant editor starting out and learning the ropes. We both know what it's like to be rejected, to not be able to see beyond a cubicle wall, but we are both proof that more is possible, so long as you want it bad enough. 

What Joan Did

Writers like to be remembered for what they said. After all, their words are their legacy. But one of the reasons why I love Joan Didion is because of what she does. Didion is a non-fiction writer, so her memoirs and journalistic accountants are filled with research. I can picture her typing away daily, with notes and books at her side. Didion started young too. She won an essay contest at Vogue, back when the glossies cared about real writing and giving new voices a start. Her work at Vogue paved the way for a career full of literary and screenwriting contributions. Now at 80, Didion is the new face of Celine's Spring campaign. I've always admired the ease of Didion's look; she looks like how I always pictured a writer to look. 

Seeing her in this campaign reminded me of finishing her collection, "We Tell Ourselves Stories In Order to Live" on the way back from my Napa vacation. I thought it so fitting that I completed this very California-centric read (see her work, "Where I Was From") while driving through the state. Being a native Californian, I feel an even deeper connection to Didion's words. I was reading by flashlight (the sun had long gone down) as I completed my 1104 page book that had begun on a separate road trip to the Midwest a couple of years ago. On the second to last page this phrase caught my eye, "There is no real way to deal with everything we lose." I let this sentence wash over me just as the dark of night washed over the California scenery and the road seemed to tuck itself under the tires of our car like a long black ribbon. 

I began reading Joan Didion in college with 'The Year of Magical Thinking," a book all about the subject of loss. I've lost people I love, memories, things, and maybe even time, but Didion is the writer who has showed me the best way to deal with loss. After reading her work I became interested in writing memoir, which I pursued in college. Because of her, I too know where I come from. Joan deals with things by writing about them. She has that perfect cadence that speaks beyond years and pages. Her words yank you from the darkness of a lonely road somewhere and place you onto a clearer path. That's what Joan does for me. Kudos to this fashion house for reminding us that we still have one of the greatest writers of our time with us today.

*Images & details on the campaign via Vogue