Sunday, May 11, 2014

Cat Lady

I started considering myself a cat lady only a couple of years ago. We had one cat (my former roommate's) but then we adopted one from Lisa and I absolutely fell in love. (My Instagram is full of pictures of both cats.)

My mom says she isn't surprised I am a cat lady, because growing up, my grandmother (my dad's dear mother) always had cats. I loved seeing those cats and when I was little I really wanted one for our house, but my mom was allergic. My household became a dog-centered one, and while I still love dogs, I want a cat in my house for the rest of my life because they have become so important to me (and maybe because they remind me of my grandma just a little bit).

My parents were into seeing plays, and I remember when they saw "Cats" when I was a young child. I wanted to go really badly, but they didn't take me. It has taken 20 something years and I finally got to see the production last night in La Mirada. I took my boyfriend (very much a dog-person) and we both enjoyed it so much. I want to commit to seeing more theater in the coming years. There's nothing like getting dressed up. I broke out some special pieces like my new cat midi ring from Birdie Boutique,  feathered Elizabeth and James blazer, Charlotte Olympia nail decals  (not my best nail art work because I broke a nail and therefore had to file them all super short), Charlotte Olympia cat shirt , and Gatsby clutch from Kate Spade. 

One of my favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber songs has always been Memory. It is so heartbreakingly beautiful. I used to play it as I would do my writing in college. I suppose that's because doing a lot of nonfiction writing (my concentration) meant relying on my memories. Since my sister is getting married in less than a week (!) I have been combing through many memories to mentally prepare myself for the event and the speech writing. 

As my memories lead me back, I have been thinking of the meaning of happiness. For my sister that means getting married. For me that means shoes, jewelry, writing, my parents, etc. It is always tempting to think if we could just go back to a certain time we would be happier or rather, we would be happiest. It is scary to think of a new day; to imagine a new life. But the song teaches to not give in to that thinking, to not hold onto our memories as the sole definition of happiness. I don't want my memories to ever fade, like my grandmother's did before she passed away, I don't ever want to think that there was a time I was more beautiful, and it stings me a bit to think that there was a time I was a better writer. I make the excuse that I had more time ( when I was in college, when I lived closer to my job), but I was meant to go down this road, to have this be my life. I hope that I can be a better sister, a better writer, in the present and in the future. I have to look forward to the dawn of a new day; a new beginning. 

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