Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Birthday Eve

Sometimes I wish I didn't like my birthday so much. It seems selfish and maybe even immature to wait all year for a day (just one) that is truly all about you. While some people as they get older like to forget about their special day, I really do count down the days until mine. It's a day where I don't worry, don't think about the things that are stressing me out, forget about the future, the past, and actually live in the moment. I love hearing from all of my family and friends too; it's a day full of love.

Sometimes I also wish that my birthday were in a different part of the year. Being born in December is tough because all the focus is on Christmas and money and time are tight. But as I reflected today, I find myself pretty content with the timing of my arrival; it really is the happiest time of year for me. I get to share my birthday month with many others in my family and my closest friends. 

In 29 years of living I have learned that while shoes are nice and cupcakes make a good dinner (sometimes), the sparkle in life comes from those closest to you. For my birthday I was happy to spend time with my family (who got me an Audrey book, a handmade necklace, and delicious cake among other things), my boyfriend (who got me a new iPhone) ... and to blog. I actually really wanted to do some writing just for me, in this space that I don't get to go to so often anymore, to reflect and create. My career has revolved so much around art and expression and 364 days of the year I can get pretty jealous of people who get to make their own art full-time. But I had an epiphany recently: I have been creating my art. I have this blog that I have been writing on for almost five years now, amazing and creative freelance opportunities, and jobs where I have learned so much. When a family member asked me at Thanksgiving what I like to do when not working, I almost didn't know what to say. That's because my current job doesn't really feel like work a lot. I get to blog every day and help nail artists tell their stories. I contribute to an industry that infuses beauty. I am so thankful to my family, friends, and coworkers who celebrate my passion for writing and publishing. Every time I publish a new piece I feel like it's my birthday all over again, and then it's right back to working on the next thing, and so the countdown begins again. Minutes, days, and years fly by in this line of work, because we are living so far ahead in the future when it comes to print magazines. So even though it is March in my head, it is definitely December when I look around outside. And for one day, just 24 hours, it is December 4th. 

When I was younger I wanted the 24 hours in this particular day to last forever. Even now, I try to stretch it sometimes by staying up until midnight and staying out late. It's taken 29 years, but I know now that this day is just as long as all the rest, and that's really not very long at all. Nothing lasts forever; time never flows the way you wish it. But there are some moments, some days, some years that you can hold onto extra tightly, that you can truly savor so that they tide you over. But then again, life is what happens while you're waiting for your next birthday. I don't remember all of the past December fourths, but I am determined to savor this year (the last of my 20s), and this night, and what it means to hopefully put another year of blessings and wisdom under my belt. This blog has helped me celebrate so many milestones, but I'm excited to use it as I initially intended: to celebrate good writing, and to grow with each post I create. 

Thank you to anyone who reads this, your eyes on my writing is the best gift of all. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Beth, I LoVe this post!
    I've finally popped in to catch up on your creative writing and life, beyond Facebook posts.
    You have such a gift for writing, it just seems to flow effortlessly, it is a pleasure to read. I enjoyed all the great photos of shoes, shoes, and more shoes, it made me smile just picturing you all dressed up and wearing your 81/2" Charlotte Olympia's!
    Sending all best wishes for the best year ever!
    XoX p